


In his Head

by Gtech1904



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Magic Revealed, Patrol Gone Wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 14:41:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20837180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gtech1904/pseuds/Gtech1904
Summary: The knights get stuck in Merlin's mind.





	In his Head

Merlin woke up screaming, the plea on his tongue died as he bolted up. Another nightmare, Merlin ran a shaky hand through his hair trying to regain control of his breathing. His screams must have woken Gaius as heavy footsteps made their way to his room. The door opened to reveal the old physician who gave a sad look to his ward. Merlin had to look away, he couldn’t stand the look of pity, he already felt guilty for waking the man. Gaius sat down at the edge of the bed and they stayed in companionable silence, neither wanting to beak it after the scream, the only sound was Merlin’s fast breath slowly slowing down.

They stayed till the dawn content with each other's presence till Gaius went to make breakfast and Merlin to get ready for the day. Neither said anything about the events of the night, Merlin for lack of wanting to tell and Gaius for wanting to respect Merlin’s wishes even if he would rather he tell him about the things he sees in his dreams.

After breaking their fast Merlin headed out to wake Arthur. Still reeling from his night terror the walls seemed to begin closing around him prompting him to walk fast. When he finally reached Arthur’s chambers he quickly opened the door without knocking and almost slamming it shut behind him. He put his forehead against the door trying to control his breathing again and willing his brain to listen to the logic that his nightmare wasn’t real. A voice is cleared and Merlin whips around to find Arthur looking visibly concerned, which won’t do for Merlin.

“You’re dressed!?” surprised that his voice comes out as strong as it does. Arthur looks at him funny before retorting.

“Your observation skills astound me, Merlin,” his reply half-hearted. Merlin doesn’t seem to notice. Whispering “clot pole” under his breath.

“What was that Merlin?” not really looking for an answer since he heard.

“ I said I was wondering if you were going on patrol,” thinking quickly, and it shows. Arthur grunted.

“Yes, actually, saddle the horses,” Merlin grumbled under his breath what sounded like” because nothing  _ ever  _ happens on patrol” but Arthur chose to ignore it.

Arthur was greeted by his most trusted knights of the round table(Leon, Gwaine, Percival, and, Elyan) and Merlin next to the horses waiting for him. Merlin was the first to notice Arthur.

“Ready?” Merlin nodded at Arthur’s question getting the knights to climb atop their horses before climbing his.

Once out of the city the knights joked as they patrolled the surrounding area. Merlin joined in to not arouse suspicion, but his mind kept on about his dream, as his thoughts spiraled his jokes got fewer and fewer until the knights began to notice Merlin was silent staring into space. The knights shot him concerned glances, Gwaine being the one to ride up next to Merlin tried to get his attention. When multiple tries failed he grabbed Merlin’s arm which proved to be a mistake as Merlin flinched so hard he lost his balance and fell from his horse. The party stopped worried about their friend, they climbed off their horses and crowded around the unconscious manservant. Arthur slapped Gwaine around the head and declared to set up camp till Merlin awoke.

An hour had them fidgeting at the still asleep manservant, he couldn’t have hit his head that hard, could he?

It was almost nightfall and still no sign of Merlin waking up. Arthur decided to wait until morning to return to Camelot as it had gotten too dark to see. Arthur was the first on watch, every few seconds he threw his friend( not that he would admit it) concerned glances. This went on till it was Gwaine’s turn. What either failed to notice was a shadowy figure who spoke in a foreign language and eyes glowed gold. Gwaine and the rest of the knights fell into a deep sleep before abruptly waking up in a clearing in the woods.

Arthur was observing their surrounding as Percival spoke,

“Where are we?” sleep still present in his voice making it gruff.

“I don’t know,” came Arthur’s reply.

“Where’s Merlin!” Arthur could tell Gwaine was the one to ask, his head turned in all directions to find his lanky manservant. Finding none he prayed that he was alright. 

“We'll find him, but first we need to know where we are,”

_ “What happened to the young boy who came into my chambers just a few years ago?”  _ Everyone looked around recognizing Gaius’ voice.

“_He grew up and learned the meaning of duty,”_ _Merlin’s voice seconds behind Gauis’. The clearing shifted to a small room._

_ GAIUS [sighs] _

_ Merlin? Sit up. Take your shirt off. _

_ [Merlin removes his shirt, revealing bruises.]  _

_ The knights gasp wondering when Merlin could have gotten them. _

_ MERLIN _

_ You don't know why I was born like this, do you? _

_ GAIUS _

_ No. _

_ [Gaius tends to Merlin's wounds.] _

_ MERLIN _

_ I'm not a monster, am I? _

_ Arthur sucks in a breath not knowing how to respond to his normally bubbly manservant thinking such things. _

_ [Gaius looks Merlin in the eye.] _

_ GAIUS _

_ Don't ever think that. _

_ MERLIN _

_ Then why am I like this? Please, I need to know why. _

_ GAIUS _

_ Maybe there's someone with more knowledge than me. _

_ MERLIN _

_ If you can't tell me, no one can. _

Once the scene ended Gwaine asked what they were seeing. Before anyone could respond something pulled at Arthur’s cloak. He looked down to see a child about five with raven-hair and startling blue eyes that hid a hint of gold.

“Anyone else think he looks like a mini Merlin?” Gwaine asked, everyone raised their hands.

“I...I think where in Merlin’s memories.” came Leon’s hesitant response. The child giggled, returning their attention back on him. The boy ran off running making the knights do the same to follow. As they run voices overlap each other.

“ _ If I told you how this ends, would you turn around?” _

_ “Never,” Merlin's voice sounds sure and final compared to the other one. _

_ “Would you still fall for her?”  _

_ The running boy stops at the edge as flashes of Morgana swirl before stopping. _

_ “What if magic isn’t something you choose? What if it chooses you?” Arthur’s head is spinning at the implications, Merlin must have known about Morgana before anyone. Why didn’t he help her? _

_ “I don’t want to be brave, I want to be myself,” Morgana’s voice sounds scared and the knights understand she turned to darkness out of fear. That didn’t mean they could forgive her. _

_ “ _ Anyone else feel like Merlin was in love with Morgana?” the knights nod agreeing with Gwaine.

_ The scene shifts to Merlin and Morgana dancing in the hall as music from the great hall makes its way to where they sway. _

_ “I don’t think I've met anyone like you, Merlin,” tone soft like Arthur has never heard it before. _

_ “Neither have I, but I don’t think there will ever be another like you, Morgana,” awe reaching his tone, but if Arthur tried it would be closer to love. Morgana laughed. _

_ “Oh, Merlin. Ever the charmer,” Merlin sent a cheeky grin. _

_ “I try,” _

_ “I love you, Merlin,” _

_ “I love you too, ‘Gana,” Any doubt anyone had left them at their words. Arthur wondered what happened for them to fall out of love. They kiss and the scene ends. _

_ The swirls changed, Merlin looks exhausted and scared. _

_ KILGHARRAH _

_ It is one thing to cast a spell that puts everyone to sleep. The power to maintain it is a very different matter. It will need more than just words to break this enchantment. _

_ Arthur took a step back as well as the other knights at the dragon Merlin is causally speaking too.  _

_ MERLIN _

_ What do you mean? _

_ KILGHARRAH _

_ You must eradicate the source, Merlin. _

_ MERLIN _

_ Great. What is that? _

_ KILGHARRAH _

_ Not what, but who. Such spells need a vessel, a constant living presence to give them strength. The source of this pestilence is the witch, the Lady Morgana. _

_ MERLIN _

_ Can't be. _

_ Everyone doesn’t miss the crack in his voice and the desperate want to deny it. They know he must have had to do it as Camelot was still standing. That didn’t mean it was any easier to accept. It changes the throne room, _

_ [Morgana drinks. She begins to have trouble breathing. looks at the skin and then at Merlin. Merlin wipes his eyes and then turns to face her. Morgause notices something's wrong. Merlin tries to hold Morgana as she struggles to breathe. Morgause begins to hold her throat like Morgana. she blows the council chamber door open and rushes to Morgana, taking her from Merlin's arms.] _

_ The knights bow their heads, the scene shows that Merlin blames himself for what happened to her, but there were multiple people to set her on her path. Arthur would get that through his thick skull one way or another when they get out of his head. _

_ The boy starts running again, they follow. _

_ “A hero can fall,” images follow them as they run. The first shows Arthur hit by an arrow. _

_ “The light can become dark,” Morgana shows up in black. _

_ “The powerful can become powerless,” The last one shocks them all as the picture shows Merlin screaming himself awake. _

_ The boy stops again and everyone recognizes the old castle with the first round table. Lancelot speaks first, “I believe in the world that you will build,” _

_ Then Elyan, “ It is my turn to repay you,” _

_ Next is Leon, “There is no one I would rather die for,” _

_ Gwaine, “I think we’ve got no chance, but I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” everyone chuckles a little at Gwaine’s turn. _

_ Percival is next to swear fealty, “Your enemies are my enemies,” _

_ Then Gauis, “If you need an old man,” _

_ Gwen is second to last, “You know the answer,” Merlin takes the longest still sitting as Arthur says “Merlin?” _

_ “No, I don’t really fancy it,” grinning. Arthur continues, _

_ “You don’t have a choice, Merlin,” The knights are glad for a more lighthearted scene, it doesn’t last long. _

_ The scene shifts to later that night as Merlin and Lancelot are still up. _

_ “You know Merlin, your the one Arthur should knight. You’re the bravest of us all, and he doesn’t even know.” Everyone agrees Arthur should, even before this Merlin had done many things that would have seasoned knights afraid. The area shifts to the Isle of the Blessed, it shows Lancelot entering the veil… and Merlin screams, choking on his sobs, falling to his knees. The knights knew Merlin was closest to Lancelot but no one realized how close for Merlin to react as he did. By the time everyone had regrouped and found out what he did Merlin’s face was blank and numb, he looked hollow, they hadn’t seen how he screamed. _

  
“ We need to get out of here, its an invasion of privacy,” the others nodded, walking in a direction, but was stopped by an invisible wall. Arthur turned to see the little Merlin with his eyes gold. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, Merlin had magic

Merlin had magic

Merlin

Merlin...magic

Has magic

The boy spoke for the first time, Arthur vaguely noticed he had tears streaming down his face.

“Don’t go that way, it’s the darkness of Emrys’ mind, you need to stay in Merlin’s,” this confused them, he made it sound like Merlin had split personalities.

“He doesn’t,” the little Merlin states as if he can read their minds, “he just calls Emrys the part of himself that would do anything to keep his king safe, Merlin is both Merlin and Emrys, they are the same person. We only use our magic for you Arthur. We were literally only born to protect you.” Arthur’s breath caught, at this rate, he would be breathing at all, the devotion little Merlin speaks of feels freeing. Merlin has magic, but it doesn’t make him evil.” Thoughts are broke by another over voice,

_ “There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men,” Merlin’s voice rings out.”It’s lonely… to be more powerful than any man you know, and have to live, like a shadow. To have to play the fool,” _

_ “Destinies are troublesome things,” _ The voice barely finishes before Arthur feels himself yanked out of Merlin's mind. He groaned and sat up. He heard the others doing the same as a scream pierces the air and he rushes to Merlin’s side. Merlin doesn’t seem to notice anything yet as he rocks back and forth repeating “its just a dream”. Arthur gently lays a hand on Merlin’s shoulder, leading to Merlin flinching and looking at Arthur, but not his eyes. 

“Tell me everything, Merlin,”

He did.


End file.
